Expectations

Have you ever taken time to watch other parents when they have their children out in public? I had the chance to do that tonight, since jewelry was pretty slow. There were some parents who, at 9:30 or so at night, had their kids in the store. (Before I continue, I have to say that I'm guilty of this, too, and I don't want to criticize anyone, just maybe try to give a different perspective.) There were a couple of little boys with one family, probably about the same age as Zack and Xander, and another family had a boy, with his arm in a sling, who was maybe 8 or so. The two little boys, at first, were walking along with their dad, and the little one was being careful to step in every square on the floor. A few minutes later, they were chasing each other in and around the clothes fixtures. The mother of the 8-year-old, as they were walking by my department, said, "Stop or I will whoop you, right here in the store." To a boy with his arm in a sling (that shouldn't really make a difference, though, just interesting). I guess it just got me thinking about how we expect children to act when we take them somewhere. Are we asking too much? Are we keeping their growing little minds engaged enough while we're out with them? Are we scolding them just for acting their age? Was that 8 y.o. acting up because he was tired, or because he really wanted to get on his parents' nerves?

I know we have to have limits and rules for our children, but we have to give them strategies as well. I am by no means calling myself mother of the year or anything, because I sometimes wonder what other people think of me when I have the boys out. (Zack is a very active, social child!) But here are some things that work for me sometimes...With Xander especially, singing songs works really well. He has come to know Little Bunny Foo-Foo, the Itsy-Bitsy Spider and A Sailor Went to Sea-Sea-Sea, among a few others. We're also trying to teach him the alphabet. Toys or books don't really work for him because he just throws them out multiple times, but he's at the age where singing and just talking with him makes a difference because he needs to learn communication. Zack loves word games, rhyming games, counting games. I tried this in the grocery store one time--I gave him the job of finding all the things that started with the letter C and he had to write them down. Finding the things wasn't so hard, but writing them down was. But he loves to list words that rhyme, and driving in the car, we look for all the things that start with a certain letter. And he loves to count the yellow cars EVERYTIME we go somewhere. He's also learning a few number facts, so we practice those, too.

My hope is that you will keep these things in mind when you are out with your kids, and see if you are asking too much of them. I also hope that I didn't sound like a know-it-all or parenting expert, because I need to stop and think as well.